“I know that,” you say, in a huff. “I like money.”
But when I hand you a twenty-dollar bill and ask you to close your eyes and tell me how it feels, you get tongue-tied. You squirm and your body goes rigid. I can practically hear internal doors slamming shut. Eventually your discomfort is so great, you either flee the building, or get curious about your revulsion.
Do yourself a favor. Lean in.
Your aversion is trying to teach you something.
Get curious. Set a gentle inquiry in motion. Ask yourself…
• Am I repulsed by the idea of having money?
• Why do I believe I’ll end up corrupted and horrible if I have money, and ultimately, wealth?
• Can I have a relationship with God, the Divine, and still have money?
• Will I be abandoned (by my husband, wife, partner, family, children, friends, by society at large) if I take back my power?
There are many reasons why we develop and maintain an aversion to money. Try on a few of these and see if they resonate for you.
♣ My (mother, father, or other significant adult influence) modeled tyrannical and/or frightening money behaviors when I was a kid. As a result, I reject the idea of money and/or wealth because I never want to be like them.
♣ I am creative and spiritual and my primary relationship is with God (the Divine, Universe, whatever you term you use). And I know that God and money just don’t mix.
♣ If I earn enough to live with a sense of prosperity and abundance, I have to quit the story that I have been wounded, victimized, or taken advantage of by others.
Is it rational for me to leave these reasons behind?
Do you want to make a change?
Forgive (to the best of your ability) whomever modeled those challenging money beliefs and then forgive yourself. This is a day-to-day practice that takes commitment and patience. Don’t rush it.
Fire the self-righteous spiritual asshole in your head. You’re not better than anyone else because you reject money (even if you have made vow of poverty). Jesus may have tossed the moneychangers out of the temple, but not because they had money, but because they worshiped money as God. Oops.
Stop playing the victim and see what happens. There’s no crystal ball. When you take back your power—and money represents the energy of power in our society—things will shift. It’s possible that those spouses, partners, and friends, who prefer to see you unhappy and stressed will leave you. It’s okay; they don’t represent your best interests, so let them go. Others will come. And they will support you in taking care of yourself.